This is exactly what being a member of the class of 2009 feels like.

In the words of a former Indy Editor in Chief, I am officially donezo with this place. Before I start to forget everything that happened on the Hilltop, however, I wanted to leave you all with a gift. That gift? The internet, or at least my experience of it as seen in glimpses on Wednesday Time Wasters. Get ready for most of the links that I have been holding back, and some of the links that are too fresh for previous columns.

• Everything Is Terrible finds incredible and awkward videos, mainly from the 1990s, and provides a window into why we laugh at what we do today. It turns out that people were absurd and weird before the internet!

• If you haven’t seen it yet and are interested in advertising, Copyranter has a sharp wit and an excellent cross-section of the world’s ads. Plus, lots of phallic imagery to gawk at.

• For those of us who just graduated, check out this rundown of our job situation and the best places for us to seek work. The numbers and graphs don’t make this any less depressing, though.

• Here’s what happens when prom goes wrong.

• This blog collects and displays Awkward Family Photos.

• Let this guy decipher the implicit messaging behind corporate logos for you.

• If you wanted more awkward, check out this ensemble of Awkward Boners.

• Picture Is Unrelated is full of visual WTF moments.

• Find all important facts concerning Gary Busey at Busey 101. Then you can contribute to this important font of knowledge in your spare summer time.

• This image has been my GChat ID for months, and will not soon be changed (GET IT!?)

• Andy Samberg high-fives a bobcat and his way into my heart. Also, watch Motherlover now.

• ManBabies takes photos of a father and son, and transposes the two figures’ heads. Creepy stuff.

• Next time you get the urge to make a lame pose in a photo, remember: Photo Cliches is watching.

• Yooouuutuuube takes any YouTube video (duh) and makes it into a moving video mosaic. I recommend trying it with this video for maximum effect.

• Maybe You Shouldn’t Buy That details things that you, well, shouldn’t buy.

• This flickr image lets you measure exactly how funny something is.

• The Top 10 Moments Caught on Google Street View.

• Photobombers are those people who ruin photos for those in them, and make them awesome for everyone else. They are a credit to humanity.

• How to make Candied Bacon Ice Cream. Perfect for those hot/thin summer months.

• Turn any video into a wacky Benny Hill-esque adventure.

• The Greatest High School English Paper of All Time. Gives me hope for my new job as a teacher.

• Generate warning labels of any kind and content with this site. Perfect for satire or your emo cousin.

• The Customer Is Always Right documents the trials and tribulations of those poor saps that try to complain to various companies. Sometimes with hilarious success!

• The Dork Yearbook is an anthology of dorks in their more candid moments.

• How Steven Seagal makes a movie. I’m telling you, the man is a genius.

• This is a neat computer that lets you manipulate things in the style of ‘Minority Report.’

• After a shipping accident in Australia, this guy does his worst to patch thing up. This one has percolated around the internet for a while, but is still required viewing.

• Here’s a look at the consumption of alcohol per capita across the world. Hey, we’re not number 1 in something! Hooray for Ireland!

Hit the jump for my favorite videos, plus one last hit of house music.

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I know you missed these sweet trailers, so here are two for your enjoyment. First up is ‘G.I. Joe,’ soon-to-be a summer blockbuster after featuring in my childhood fantasies for years. Let’s take a look (via FilmDrunk):

This has all of the trappings of a good action movie, although I’m not sure what reaction they expected by flashing “From the Director of ‘The Mummy’” on the screen — ooh, you mean this could be passably entertaining and then be followed up by two or three sequels and spin-offs that are complete dog-poop and utterly devoid of intellect? Sign me up!

Also, it seems like with this movie, ‘Transformers 2′ and the new ‘Terminator’ flick all coming out this summer, we are in for one hot sweaty robot clusterboink over the next few months. I hope you’re ready, and that this doesn’t suck. Because if it does, I’m suing these people for ruining my childhood. That will hold up in court, or at least it SHOULD. Oh, and the trailer is acceptable too, albeit mildly unbelievable. Bonus points for a lot of it being in France! Grade: B-

Hit the jump for something entirely different, and somewhat… sexual.

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Ahh early May… that time of year when most undergrads are crying in the library and then skipping home in sweet summer joy. Seniors, on the other hand, are crying into their beers and thinking that if they party and celebrate enough, the impending graduation date (and the prerequisite exams) will painlessly disappear. So, in search of some comfort to help me through this difficult time, I decided to share some words of wisdom I found in the 1967 Georgetown yearbook.

Why was I looking at a 1967 Georgetown yearbook, you ask? Well, in a blatant abuse of key-wielding power last semester, I was studying in the Independent office. The Indy shares its office space with the yearbook and, for some reason, there was one yearbook lying on the Indy’s side of the office. It happened to be from 1967. With a final in a half hour, I obviously decided to cozy up on the couch and saunter down memory lane. Fifteen minutes and a few tears later (I got emotional about graduation early, okay?), I picked up my computer and copied down the poem that a Georgetown student wrote for the first few pages of the yearbook. And so, for my second and last guest appearance in Ben’s Senior Citizenship column, I have decided to share the poem with you. Some of it is comically outdated (there were polo matches?!), but most of it is still relevant. Enjoy.

“The sun is down, but there is still fire in the ashes. A haze has been cast over four years of your burning youth—a haze that, once gone, won’t return.

You arrived as everyman, as anyman. The Walsh doors flew open and the match was struck. The light shone through the lobby windows and you were but an image of what you are today.

That first semester was the greatest ascent—not knowing whether you had climbed far enough socially or academically—not knowing whether you should go up or down.

With each scare, you pushed into that den of silence, that cubicle of solitude, where knowledge was more easily come by.

An unforgotten lecture is still toiling; yes, that lecture that made you forget that you were a student. “If only I…”

But the fire raged. You who knew where it burned, would not tell where it lay.

“I” was the one who saw Thomas Jefferson and Washington in their seats of honor. “I” was the one who rejoiced in exams’ end.

And “I” dwelt in thought with John Carroll, knowing that my stay would be shorter than his.

He watched, she watched, you moved on.

You learned from the one who had the right answers at the right time; you laughed with the one who made the joke.

You paused to attend to the little things; a snow fight or just a daily chore needed as much attention as the trudge to classes.

STOP! Look where your footsteps have led you.

Flowers bloomed; they grew with each year; with each year you grew, and noticed neither.

Those who didn’t find time looked on hopefully; those who did smile knowingly.

The polo games were good, and if you knew the score, you had a pretty poor time.

The expressions—great and terrific—for the social bombasts had dissipated in the heat, and what was left was a pretty good time.

You explored causes and ideals. War and peace presented their cases as you listened.

You continued to circle the globe daily without touching it.

The second semester began, and the rites of Spring were upon you.

The last semester was here, as you began the last lap.

Famous people came and spoke to you, and whether you listened or not, you were impressed.

The campus loomed larger than life—even the dorms became caverns of solitude.

But Gothic architecture does not breed Gothic persons. Georgetown’s gentlemen hold a variety of interests.

As your withdrawal becomes more definite, you can look back to all the images of the university.

There were the people who made it real: the friends. Those who helped you and those who guided you. The life and color of what would otherwise be a dismal place.

The age and tradition of your surroundings brought forth newness and vigor.

For your four years have flown; for others, they are still to come. The sun is down, but there is still fire in the ashes.”

- Kerry Kirschner

When one blog is showing you how to waste time in awesome ways, and the other is trying to chide you into being more productive (even tough they’re great ideas, VP!), isn’t it nice to know where you can come for fun?

For example, in lieu of trying to write faster or work harder, I recommend that everyone takes a trip over to Cute Overload right now. Why? Well, it has this!

Don’t you feel better now? I know I do. Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

Too late! You’re wasting time already.

I know it’s not Wednesday, but hey, do you want some of this internet or not? Plus, don’t try and tell me that you were working before you saw this, I know you too well. Here we go!

• Cracked discovers the typology of celebrity baby names. Sh*tty transformers are a go!

• Everyone knows that Cleveland sucks (sorry Danny!) and someone made a fake tourism board video to prove it. Check out their first attempt for some more Ohio-bashing.

• Ever wondered how much sugar is in your drinks, candy and sauces, but were too confused by numbers? Check out Sugar Stacks for a physical representation of your sweet diet.

• Texts from last night collects those unfortunate texts you probably shouldn’t have sent, and captures some inadvertent wisdom.

• Education alert! Some graphical representation of the US/China trade relationship.

• Remember Dramatic Chipmunk? Check out Obnoxious Groundhoug. He’s British!

• Now all you cokeheads can combine your expensive habit with your expensive iPhone. Yay for recession drugs! Via Ms. JW

Hit the jump for life, auto-tuned.

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The end of the year is upon us, sports fans. That means Georgetown Day, Foxfield, the last class I’ll take in college, and my last-ever paper. It also means that I was too busy last week to work my “Senior Citizenship” magic. People actually seemed to miss it.

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