This is exactly what being a member of the class of 2009 feels like.

In the words of a former Indy Editor in Chief, I am officially donezo with this place. Before I start to forget everything that happened on the Hilltop, however, I wanted to leave you all with a gift. That gift? The internet, or at least my experience of it as seen in glimpses on Wednesday Time Wasters. Get ready for most of the links that I have been holding back, and some of the links that are too fresh for previous columns.

• Everything Is Terrible finds incredible and awkward videos, mainly from the 1990s, and provides a window into why we laugh at what we do today. It turns out that people were absurd and weird before the internet!

• If you haven’t seen it yet and are interested in advertising, Copyranter has a sharp wit and an excellent cross-section of the world’s ads. Plus, lots of phallic imagery to gawk at.

• For those of us who just graduated, check out this rundown of our job situation and the best places for us to seek work. The numbers and graphs don’t make this any less depressing, though.

• Here’s what happens when prom goes wrong.

• This blog collects and displays Awkward Family Photos.

• Let this guy decipher the implicit messaging behind corporate logos for you.

• If you wanted more awkward, check out this ensemble of Awkward Boners.

• Picture Is Unrelated is full of visual WTF moments.

• Find all important facts concerning Gary Busey at Busey 101. Then you can contribute to this important font of knowledge in your spare summer time.

• This image has been my GChat ID for months, and will not soon be changed (GET IT!?)

• Andy Samberg high-fives a bobcat and his way into my heart. Also, watch Motherlover now.

• ManBabies takes photos of a father and son, and transposes the two figures’ heads. Creepy stuff.

• Next time you get the urge to make a lame pose in a photo, remember: Photo Cliches is watching.

• Yooouuutuuube takes any YouTube video (duh) and makes it into a moving video mosaic. I recommend trying it with this video for maximum effect.

• Maybe You Shouldn’t Buy That details things that you, well, shouldn’t buy.

• This flickr image lets you measure exactly how funny something is.

• The Top 10 Moments Caught on Google Street View.

• Photobombers are those people who ruin photos for those in them, and make them awesome for everyone else. They are a credit to humanity.

• How to make Candied Bacon Ice Cream. Perfect for those hot/thin summer months.

• Turn any video into a wacky Benny Hill-esque adventure.

• The Greatest High School English Paper of All Time. Gives me hope for my new job as a teacher.

• Generate warning labels of any kind and content with this site. Perfect for satire or your emo cousin.

• The Customer Is Always Right documents the trials and tribulations of those poor saps that try to complain to various companies. Sometimes with hilarious success!

• The Dork Yearbook is an anthology of dorks in their more candid moments.

• How Steven Seagal makes a movie. I’m telling you, the man is a genius.

• This is a neat computer that lets you manipulate things in the style of ‘Minority Report.’

• After a shipping accident in Australia, this guy does his worst to patch thing up. This one has percolated around the internet for a while, but is still required viewing.

• Here’s a look at the consumption of alcohol per capita across the world. Hey, we’re not number 1 in something! Hooray for Ireland!

Hit the jump for my favorite videos, plus one last hit of house music.

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To play you into the weekend, I thought I’d offer you a piping hot slice of dance nostalgia. Bedrock is an absolutely legendary DJ duo (John Digweed and Nick Muir) which has made some of the best rave music of all time. Way back in 1999, they released ‘Heaven Scent’ and made me into a little raving machine in my Jakarta living room. That melody still gives me goosebumps:

This song served as the climactic moment of ‘Groove,’ a great movie about a rave in San Francisco released in 2000. Check out the trailer for a slice of turn-of-the-century Americana, or peep this re-cut version of the ‘Heaven Scent’ video with some film footage and a cameo from Mr. Digweed. (P.S. If you’re into that sort of thing, these guys also produced one of the songs in ‘Trainspotting’).

Hope you enjoy this as much as I still do. Rave away.

You may remember a certain blogger extraordinaire posting about UK Garage, the turn-of-the-millennium dance craze on the other side of the pond, not too long ago. As it turns out, the story of this genre is not quite finished.

It seems that my man Craig David, best known in the U.S. for ‘7 Days,’ has not been resting on his sexy laurels after failing to reach worldwide superstardom. Back in 2008 he released a ‘Greatest Hits’ album, complete with two new singles. ‘Insomnia‘ is a contemporary R&B track, but ‘Where’s Your Love?’ takes us right back to the days of The Artful Dodger. Get ready for a blast from the not-too-distant past:

For proof that this actually was a hit in Britain, check out this performance at the MOBO Awards last year. Man, this whole thing gives me a heter-oner.

This is also our very long way of saying, have a happy Easter Break. We here at the Daily Monthly will be back to keep you company next week. Don’t miss us too much.

In all of my previous weeks of posting house goodness, you may have noticed a gaping hole in my artist anthologies: Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter, better known as Daft Punk. Sure, they popped up in one of the precursor posts to this column, but a group this big, this important, this… French deserves something special.

Before they went on their much-publicized Alive tour, the boys of DP released ‘Discovery’ and changed the world in 2001. To accompany this album, the group teamed up with Japanese anime maestro Leiji Matsumoto to create “Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem,” a space opera action cartoon. Makes total sense right?

In any case, ‘Discovery’ served as the soundtrack to the movie and the movie was the source of the music videos for each single. We can sort of follow along with the plot of the film, starting with the soundtrack of my life, ‘One More Time.’

Looks like the set-up to a great movie to me. Let’s see what happens next in ‘Aerodynamic.’

Ooh, the plot thickens. And synthesizes. To see how the story ends, follow the jump.

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This week’s DJ de la semaine requires little introduction, but here’s one: Fedde le Grand is a Dutchman who has torn up the dancefloors over the last three years. While he has been more of a commodity in Europe than elsewhere, this kind of music cannot be denied (NSFW):

That was ‘Let Me Think About It’ with Ida Corr, released in 2007. It’s like they have booby tassels but over their clothes!

‘Put Your Hands Up For Detroit’ came out in 2006 and launched Mr. Le Grand to super(house)stardom, and with good reason. The video is interesting, if only because it seems that our Dutch friend has never been to Detroit (sorta NSFW):

Hit the jump for a better idea of what Fedde is up to these days.

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Ready for some house music from NYC by way of the DR? Let’s go!

Roger Sanchez (also ridiculously known as the S Man on some remixes) has been around for more than a minute, but this Dominican-American is one of the more tragic stories of house. After starting off his career with some epic, respectable bangers, he descended rapidly into super cheesy, somewhat formulaic ditties. But I don’t have to tell you, just look at what used to be:

‘Another Chance’ came out in 2001, after the S Man had built up a sterling reputation on the club circuit with his pals at Strictly Rhythm records. Here’s another peek at greatness (don’t mind the oddly serious vampire subplot!):

That was ‘I Never Knew,’ released in 2000. Let’s take a look at the music that followed these masterpieces, shall we? There are THREE, one of which is fantastic.

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This week you get a taste of some local flavor, in the form of the D.C.-based Deep Dish. This Iranian duo, otherwise known as Dubfire (not his real name) and Sharam (real name), have been responsible for some real club bangers over the last decade. They bring a moody sensibility to epic house, and the result will move you. Let’s start with ‘Flashdance,’ officially released in 2004. This song was a massive hit, see if you can tell why:

 

Deep Dish does not always work in tandem, as Sharam has something of an affinity for sugary pop house. Here he remixes Eddie Murphy’s classic, ‘Party All The Time,’ with great results. Imagine grooving to this back in 2006 (NSFW):

  

Hit the jump for five (5) more videos from these D.C. denizens.

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You may remember from not too long ago that Royksopp has new single out, ‘Happy Up Here,’ for their forthcoming album, “Junior.”

Well, the boys have made a video for this happy-go-lucky, bouncy song, and I think it would be the perfect accompaniment to the beginning of this wonderful holiday.

 
                                                                                                                        Happy Up Here from Röyksopp on Vimeo.

Wherever your paths may take you, keep these Norwegian house masters close to your heart. I know that I will, despite the best efforts of the Michigan tundra.

Happy Tuesday, everyone. I want to introduce you to a whole new sub-genre of house music today, entitled UK garage, or UKG. It is near and dear to my heart, and full of wonderful music.

UK garage was born in the UK (duh) in the early 90s, and comes in many flavors. You can go for the more grimy, hip-hop variations with the So Solid Crew and The Streets, most notably in his single ‘Has It Come to This?’ Or you can savor the lighter, R&B-tinged variety produced by the likes of Shanks & Bigfoot and (often) MJ Cole. UKG also goes by the names “2-Step Garage,” “Grime” and “Speed Garage” when necessary. This may all seem very confusing, but just watch this first:

 

The Artful Dodger, a duo of Englishmen, was one of  the main actors on the UKG scene, and tended to produce singles on the lighter end of the sonic spectrum. They helped make Craig David a massive star (only in Britain, sadly) by using only a few samples and some serious help from crooner Robbie Craig on the above track, entitled ‘Woman Trouble’ and released in 2000.  If you don’t believe me that this stuff was super popular, check out this live performance of ‘Woman Trouble’ on British TV back in the day.

Hit the jump for some more of this sweet house nectar, and some more on the story of this strange and awesome type of house music.

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Hello there, Sunday Hoyas. I thought I would brighten your afternoon with the tale of a New York City man who finds a very special pair of sunglasses. Suddenly, everyone is a hot woman! Follow along with me, will you?

That was ‘Into Your Eyes,’ by our buddy Armand Van Helden. Have a nice Sunday, I’ll see you in forty-eight hours.

You may remember Junior Jack from Jess’ Hump Day Music post on crazy house music videos, but the man deserves more than an honorable mention within a larger column. He deserves his own damn week of music, and that’s what he’s going to get. Mr. Jack, otherwise known as Vito Lucente, is an Italian who has produced music under many different pseudonyms, including Room 5 and Don Vito. His music videos have come from the Junior Jack and Room 5 sides of his personality, so let’s take a closer look at this baron of bootyshakers.

Oh, and this first video is NSFW, so don’t show your boss, unless they’re into that sort of thing.

  

That was ‘See You Dancin’,’ Junior’s most recent new single and his most recent video. The bouncy, uplifting melody and vocals are typical of his oeuvre, although that Corvette/horse chase is just plain silly. Also, the protagonist of the video is Mr. Jack himself.

Next up is ‘Music and You,’ a 2003 collaboration between Room 5 and Oliver Cheatham, he of the silky voice. This video manages to turn you on and showcase the importance of a dirty rat to the proceedings. I feel like some very weird mental associations are being formed here (this one is really NSFW, though nudity is strangely absent):
 

Hit the jump for 5 (that’s right, five-oh) more videos from JJ.

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There are times when an artist hasn’t produced a body of music videos large enough to merit an entire Techno Tuesday column and the valuable real-estate of this blog. This doesn’t mean that they deserve no notice, however. Solution: the Techno Tuesday Amuse-Bouche, designed to whet your musical palate and get you dancing on your lazy Sunday.

Today, David Morales graces us with ‘Needin’ U II,’ the 2001 rework of his seminal 1998 smash, ‘Needin’ U.’ Mr. Morales is currently mired in the schmaltzy world of cheesy dance-pop, but this goes a long way towards making those memories disappear (slightly NSFW):

  

If that piano doesn’t bring at least a little smile to your face, then we should probably never meet, since I would not want to be your friend. Happy Sunday, and see you in 48 hours.

There has been a distinct lack of American representation in recent editions of this column, but I am going to rectify that in a big way today. Armand Van Helden is a Boston-born DJ who made his name and an assload of awesome house in New York City. Beginning in 1999, this Dutch-Indonesian dude started making some of the best house music videos out there. Let’s kick things off with a sexy, dorky look at beach life in ‘My My My,’ released in 2006. If only this were the big Georgetown anthem of my sophomore year, instead of Kelly Clarkson (NSFW).

 

Next up is ‘Full Moon,’ a collaboration with Common (before he was wicked popular, natch) released way back in 2000. We get a glimpse of the brash NYC club scene at the turn of the millenium. Also, boobs. NSFW (this might be a theme):

 

Hit the jump for FIVE more videos from this maestro of making you shake it.

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Once Jess threw down the gauntlet to look out for Barack remixes, I couldn’t let my weekly column go down like that. This video only contains some of the clip that she requested, and I didn’t even make it either, but hey, I got a busy schedule to maintain here. Plus, who’s going to complain when Barack and Kanye collaborate? Let’s relive the crazy election season of 2008 together:
                               

Sometimes I think that CollegeHumor reads my mind, or at least The Daily Monthly. Have a nice President’s Day.

I know that everyone and their mother is posting Valentine’s Day-related content this week — hell, I just did it a few hours ago — but I think we would be well-served by a trip down the more romantic roads of house music. To start things off, let’s look at the soul-crushing side of the holiday. Here’s Another Chance with ‘Everytime I See Her,’ which was quite the club banger way back in 2006/2007. It tells the story of a mousey girl who gets romantically pranked by the hot douchebag at school, only to find true affection in the arms of a genuine friend. It’s like they read my high school diary:

  

Next up is ‘Missing,’ the classical epic by Everything But The Girl. Tracey Thorn is a little weird-looking, but I find myself strangely attracted to her. Maybe it’s the short dress, but maybe she’s benefitting from some residual traces of the eroticism emanating from her star-crossed lover. This video is more melancholic than romantic, but there’s some pretty heavy petting going on at around the 3:20 mark.

  

Hit the jump for the sunny side of love, and a special surprise.

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