Alright, so the Internets suck this week.  All that’s out there is Kanye hating (whom I will defend 4ever) and the same political garbage that was boring three months ago.  Ergo, I’m just going to post two of the arguably best videos that have ever been plummeted onto the series of tubes we call the World Wide Web.

Techno Viking: On behalf of the entire Georgetown community, I’d like to extend you an invitation to the homecoming tailgate this Saturday.

Korean Drummer: I will gladly give up my seat playing drums for Georgetown Cabaret this year if you want to take the reigns (and officially matriculate). BTW, stick with this one through the end.

This is exactly what being a member of the class of 2009 feels like.

In the words of a former Indy Editor in Chief, I am officially donezo with this place. Before I start to forget everything that happened on the Hilltop, however, I wanted to leave you all with a gift. That gift? The internet, or at least my experience of it as seen in glimpses on Wednesday Time Wasters. Get ready for most of the links that I have been holding back, and some of the links that are too fresh for previous columns.

• Everything Is Terrible finds incredible and awkward videos, mainly from the 1990s, and provides a window into why we laugh at what we do today. It turns out that people were absurd and weird before the internet!

• If you haven’t seen it yet and are interested in advertising, Copyranter has a sharp wit and an excellent cross-section of the world’s ads. Plus, lots of phallic imagery to gawk at.

• For those of us who just graduated, check out this rundown of our job situation and the best places for us to seek work. The numbers and graphs don’t make this any less depressing, though.

• Here’s what happens when prom goes wrong.

• This blog collects and displays Awkward Family Photos.

• Let this guy decipher the implicit messaging behind corporate logos for you.

• If you wanted more awkward, check out this ensemble of Awkward Boners.

• Picture Is Unrelated is full of visual WTF moments.

• Find all important facts concerning Gary Busey at Busey 101. Then you can contribute to this important font of knowledge in your spare summer time.

• This image has been my GChat ID for months, and will not soon be changed (GET IT!?)

• Andy Samberg high-fives a bobcat and his way into my heart. Also, watch Motherlover now.

• ManBabies takes photos of a father and son, and transposes the two figures’ heads. Creepy stuff.

• Next time you get the urge to make a lame pose in a photo, remember: Photo Cliches is watching.

• Yooouuutuuube takes any YouTube video (duh) and makes it into a moving video mosaic. I recommend trying it with this video for maximum effect.

• Maybe You Shouldn’t Buy That details things that you, well, shouldn’t buy.

• This flickr image lets you measure exactly how funny something is.

• The Top 10 Moments Caught on Google Street View.

• Photobombers are those people who ruin photos for those in them, and make them awesome for everyone else. They are a credit to humanity.

• How to make Candied Bacon Ice Cream. Perfect for those hot/thin summer months.

• Turn any video into a wacky Benny Hill-esque adventure.

• The Greatest High School English Paper of All Time. Gives me hope for my new job as a teacher.

• Generate warning labels of any kind and content with this site. Perfect for satire or your emo cousin.

• The Customer Is Always Right documents the trials and tribulations of those poor saps that try to complain to various companies. Sometimes with hilarious success!

• The Dork Yearbook is an anthology of dorks in their more candid moments.

• How Steven Seagal makes a movie. I’m telling you, the man is a genius.

• This is a neat computer that lets you manipulate things in the style of ‘Minority Report.’

• After a shipping accident in Australia, this guy does his worst to patch thing up. This one has percolated around the internet for a while, but is still required viewing.

• Here’s a look at the consumption of alcohol per capita across the world. Hey, we’re not number 1 in something! Hooray for Ireland!

Hit the jump for my favorite videos, plus one last hit of house music.

Read Full Post

When one blog is showing you how to waste time in awesome ways, and the other is trying to chide you into being more productive (even tough they’re great ideas, VP!), isn’t it nice to know where you can come for fun?

For example, in lieu of trying to write faster or work harder, I recommend that everyone takes a trip over to Cute Overload right now. Why? Well, it has this!

Don’t you feel better now? I know I do. Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

Too late! You’re wasting time already.

I know it’s not Wednesday, but hey, do you want some of this internet or not? Plus, don’t try and tell me that you were working before you saw this, I know you too well. Here we go!

• Cracked discovers the typology of celebrity baby names. Sh*tty transformers are a go!

• Everyone knows that Cleveland sucks (sorry Danny!) and someone made a fake tourism board video to prove it. Check out their first attempt for some more Ohio-bashing.

• Ever wondered how much sugar is in your drinks, candy and sauces, but were too confused by numbers? Check out Sugar Stacks for a physical representation of your sweet diet.

• Texts from last night collects those unfortunate texts you probably shouldn’t have sent, and captures some inadvertent wisdom.

• Education alert! Some graphical representation of the US/China trade relationship.

• Remember Dramatic Chipmunk? Check out Obnoxious Groundhoug. He’s British!

• Now all you cokeheads can combine your expensive habit with your expensive iPhone. Yay for recession drugs! Via Ms. JW

Hit the jump for life, auto-tuned.

Read Full Post

I know you missed this. (Source)

What, you thought that this would always happen on a Wednesday? How naive. While you get wise, a buttload of links:

• Madeleine Albright was on the Craig Ferguson Late Late Show last week, and she was witty (look at the related videos for the rest of the interview). Yay Georgetown!

• A running catalogue of the various forms of hipsters in NYC entitled Look at this f*cking hipster.

• Remember when those Navy Seals killed those Somali pirates at the behest of Barack Obama? Well here’s that episode in graphical, historical context once and twice. Suck it, Nixon.

• Play Super Mario online, in Flash form. Go at it, you silly plumber.

• A chronicle of various stories from people who are bad at sex entitled i’m so bad at sex. Internet = great.

• Memo to Audi: never get into a d*ckish advertising war with BMW. You will lose.

• So the Mythbusters decided to strap rockets onto a car and shoot it down some train tracks into a wall. This is so awesome, I want to go that fast NOW.

• In honor of the NBA playoffs: a brand new way to look at the Chicago Bulls logo.

Hit the jump for an amazing ad for TVs and the best prank ever.

Read Full Post

Just look at the video above and tell me you’re not ready to attract some quality women over Easter Break. As for the women out there, just stay away from this dude and I think you’ll be fine. In the meantime, linksss:

• If you missed The Hoya’s April Fools issue and the ensuing hullabaloo, check it out here (PDF) and judge for yourself. Via Vox Populi

• It looks like men shouldn’t have babies as they get older, according to the New York Times. What happened to this being a man’s world?

• Homer’s Odyssey, written on Twitter.

• No offense meant to devout believers out there, but this sex advice is so gloriously funny in its basic missteps. Make sure to stick around until the end. NSFW language.

• This is how they sell bananas in Japan. It is not like they do it here.

• Quentin Tarantino’s new movie, “Inglourious Basterds,” comes out this summer. Vanity Fair got some neat pictures of the cast, including super-hunky Brad Pitt.

• The 10 ugliest shoes of the past 20 years. Way to continue the trend, Kanye.

• Burger King pairs “I Like Big Butts” with Spongebob Squarepants. Hilarity ensues.

Hit the jump for the insane ending to this week’s episode of ‘The Hills’ and some intense cereal consumption.

Read Full Post

That dude has the right idea. When life lights you on fire, strap on your thong, helmet and clog-like shoes and get to walking. While you think about that, link away:

• Want to watch Bruce Lee fight Iron Man? Ask, and the internet delivers.

• A bunch of kids make a really cute song about netiquette, so that you don’t insult your “personal internet friend.” They have no idea what’s out there, do they?

• Vintage Web gives us a glimpse into the distant past of the internet, way back in the 1990s. 

• Nicolas Cage’s son is… really? That’s his son?

• Wabi-Sabi art combines water and ink in motion to create something really cool. It looks like there are normal people in Japan after all! Via Urlesque

• Look at this dog floating in mid-air while a plane creates zero-g forces, and tell me it’s not the cutest thing you’ve seen all day. Go ahead.

Hit the jump for some very suave French parodies of ‘Die Hard,’ ‘8 Mile’ and ‘24.’

Read Full Post

Courtesy of Is Google Making Us Dumber?

Anyone else searching for the link between cats and cancer? I know I am! In the meantime:

• SEXY PEOPLE is a blog devoted to the “celebration of the perfect portrait.” Awkward high school glamour shots galore, plus you can always submit your own.

• Gmail lets you unsend messages, and all is well.

• 5 annoying things that couple do. How I dislike couples who are too into PDA.

• An entire blog devoted to “sturgeon face,” a curmudgeonly look that has been worn by everyone from Bill Clinton to Brett Favre to That Guy.

• This list of the 100 oldest domain names should make us all happy, since we are all at least younger than the internet. Suck it, old people.

• Take a quiz to see how progressive you are, courtesy of the Center for American Progress.

Hit the jump for a guide to picking up the ladies and hunks.

Read Full Post

Look at that dude. I’ll bet he’s as proud of that car as I am of these links:

• Here’s what  hedgehog looks like without any spikes. Simultaneously cute and gross.

• This kid has possibly the worst luck of anyone in England: his pimples spell the word ‘arse.’

• Ever wanted to own PB&J pillows? Consider it within reach.

• After hearing the worst news ever (masturbation: the silent killer), now this suckerpunch to the karmic gut: New Zealand women’s breasts are getting bigger. New Zealand men, we hardly knew ye.

• Daft Punk is doing the score for the Tron sequel. One word: AWESOME.

• I always knew M.C. Hammer had a purpose.

Hit the jump for two insane instances of Japanese television.

Read Full Post

Don't worry, Morgan. Spring is almost here.

This week, you’re in for a treat. I’m going to share with you some of the best links of this past winter that I’ve been selfishly hoarding, and some of the new hotness. Take them into spring break with you, mmkay? Also, that sweet picture of MF above can be found here.

• A collection of awesome rollercoaster souvenir photos.

• Apparently, everyone under 25 should be able to hear this annoying sound. If you can’t, congratulations on losing your hearing early!

• Simon Rich wrote this a while ago, but so what: what life would be like if adults were treated like children.

• DCist has a great collection of things overheard in D.C.

• Greg Rutter has compiled a list of the 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On the Internet. Brush up on your memes, people.

Hit the jump for bad paintings of Obama, some clever re-editing of Fox News, and Daredevil being a douche.

Read Full Post

Aw, look at the sad cat. Too bad he’s just another member of a very dumb species. On that note, let’s hit the week’s links before they go stale on us:

• Have your parents recently joined Facebook? Commiserate with others and contemplate your sorry fate.

• I’ve been saving this game for a rainy day, but I couldn’t hold back any longer: Rose & Camellia is a game that illustrates the illustrates “the elegant art of feminine conflict.” In other words, it’s Japanese noblewomen slapping each other silly. Enjoy!

• Ever wonder what Russian LOLcats are actually saying? Turns out it is hilarious and sad.

Hit the jump for Skittles vodka, neat t-shirts and some naughty synonyms.

UPDATE: Now with Hugh Jackman giving Barbara Walters a lapdance!

Read Full Post

I don’t remember where I found this (I think it was 4chan, so I won’t link there for your sanity), but it always makes me smile. Meta-jokes for the win, I say. With that out of the way, here are your links:

• This may be the best Barack Obama toy ever. Lightsabers and microphones in the hands of the POTUS can only lead to good things.

• This game draws a line in various directions based on the noise you make. Try playing a song to see what it ‘draws,’ it’s oodles of fun.

• ZOMG THAT BIRD COMES OUT OF NOWHERE. 

• If you like Paul Rudd, you’ll love this: a blonde Rudd in a very bad Hong Kong action movie. Never forget the robot, man.

Hit the jump for a raunchy song by Flight of the Conchords, another crazy Obama toy and the continuation of the series by the dude who hates nature.

Read Full Post

I hope everyone enjoyed that look into Sony’s latest product. As we slog through a week leading up to one of the most commercialized holidays of the year, I felt it appropriate to put things in Onion-y perspective. I’ve got a buttload of links to dump this week, which means that a winner is you! Here we go:

• A cow got hit by lightning and survived. Talk about holy cow! (HAR HAR HAR I know, I’m a genius).

• Want to know the weather in your zipcode, and be angry about it? Check out The F*cking Weather.

• Here’s a picture of JFK and Bill Clinton shaking hands. Isn’t the internet neat?

• Barack Obama is tired of your mthrfckng sht, and he isn’t afraid to tell you.

• Check out this very slick collection of something we don’t often think about very much: loading screens. It’s sort of hypnotizing.

• This week’s funny blog explains that This is why you’re fat. Man, that all looks delicious.

Hit the jump for a look into the world of film piracy and the intersection where Daft Punk, the NES and Guitar Hero meet.

Read Full Post

Source

Welcome to this week’s WTW, I hope you’re ready to procrastinate, because I sure as hell am. Plus, who doesn’t love some sweet fan art? Let’s get to this week’s links.

• I usually don’t like to link to lists (they’re generally like internet crack — cheap but of low quality), but this one is sweet: 20 Baffling Foreign Movie Posters for American films. The Planet of the Apes Sequel poster from Poland is particularly jarring.

• If you want to learn in your spare time (yeah, I know, it sounded dumb to me too), you can view a semester’s worth of lectures on a variety of courses from schools like Hahvahd, Yale and Stanford at Academic Earth.

• One of my favorite blogs ever: Photoshop Disasters. The people who make ads aren’t so smart after all.

Hit the jump for a MILF machine and a hardcore Cookie Monster. It’s really, really worth your time.

Read Full Post

As the NYT announced today, Google Earth now covers the 75% or so of the globe that’s underwater. Get a peak at all of our oceans with version 5 here.

Also, check out the Google blog for some backstory .