Gary Simons
Oct 31, 2020
The Eternal Flame
There is an eternal flame that burns below every home. Like any fire, it can grow out of control. It can spread through your home and...
Jackson Foran
Oct 28, 2020
The Indy’s Halloween 2020 Costume Recommendations: Sexy Pandemic Edition
Well, it’s that time of year again. The time when kids eat too much candy, when teens throw toilet paper and eggs at homes, and when I...
Gary Simons
Oct 3, 2020
Get Your Zoom On
… … … Sorry, about that I was muted. Speaking of Zoom, the actual term “zoom” angers me. Zoom used to be an expression for something that...
Jackson Foran
Oct 2, 2020
No Toilet Paper Jokes: A Guide on Stuff to Do During Quarantine
Wondering what you should be doing with all your time?
Jamyson Smith
Feb 29, 2020
The Day After Valentine's Day
G*d, I love February 15 when the chocolates are over 50% off and my Tinder match rate skyrockets, finally making me feel like I’m kinda...
Jackson Foran
Feb 29, 2020
Intense Hand-Holding: A Friendly Guide on Where to Fulfill Your Carnal Desires on Campus
Above: What the sad excuse for sex education that is public school health class taught me that intercourse is. It’s already February and...
Jackson Foran
Jan 17, 2020
Some Heartfelt Goodbyes of the 2010s
The 2010s are finally coming to a close. We’ve all gone through so much this decade: two presidential elections, seven Kanye albums, the...
Jackson Foran
Dec 7, 2019
A Controversy that Actually Matters
Recently, a new phenomenon has been sweeping the globe–or, should I say, non-globe. Flat Earth Theory has grown from a few idiots posting...
Max Zhang
Dec 7, 2019
SEVEN WAYS TO EXPRESS THE HIGHEST GRATITUDE TOWARDS THE WORLD AND ITS INHABITANTS THIS THANKSGIVING
ONE. Ignore your mother (or father, or both, or guardian adult of choice, depending on your distribution of emotional gravity and...
Jackson Foran
Oct 31, 2019
The Indy's 2019 Halloween Costume Recommendations: Sexy Edition
It’s already October, and, as everyone knows, that means it’s already Halloween. And what better way to celebrate than by listening to me...